New Year

It's that time of year again.

That time to reflect on what you want out of life.

I'm especially excited this year, because it's not just a new year, it's a new decade, and for some reason, that sounds extra exciting to me!

This year I have a lot of hope.

I was reading through last year's blog, and it almost made me sad, because it seemed like someone else's blog, not mine. I couldn't really find myself in it. I feel like last year I was a bit lost. I lost hope, I lost faith in myself and in others. I wasn't my true self. I was mopey. I was bitter. I wasn't my usual joyful self.

This year I want to get myself back. I don't want to let life effect me so much. So what if things don't go my way? So what if I am in chronic pain and have to live with doctor visit after doctor visit? So what if work is so scary for my hubby right now? That shouldn't change me! I shouldn't let it change ME. I never have before. Life's never been easy, life has always had it's trials. But for some reason, last year, I just didn't have the energy and I gave in. I don't know if it was because so many of my loved ones were dealing with very heavy burdens, or if it was because I never felt good, but last year I had a hard time seeing the good in people, in myself, and in my life.

I want to be better this year.
I want to be back to my old self.
I miss her!

So that is my New Year's goal. I want to be free again. I want to be happy. I want to see the good. I want to have joy!

I have a few things I want to do to help myself along the way. I know who I am. That's why I know it won't be hard to find myself again. I think it will just be hard to keep being me,...... when life seems to push me into being someone else.

I know, I sound crazy! It all makes sense in my head! :)

A lot of my goals are personal ones. The usual, eating better, working out..........that should last about a month. But that's ME!!!! I want to build my relationship with my family better. Be a better Mom, a better wife. I want to be a better daughter to God. I just want to be better. I want to be happy.

I think it will be easy.

Honestly.

I think all I need to do is try.

Because last year, I didn't. And that's what was missing!

I just plain didn't try!