Passing me by
I don't know what it was about seeing this, but this brought warmth back to my soul.
I have felt so empty lately. Just getting by, day to day, but not really enjoying the day to day.
Until I saw this. My heart melted, by face brightened and I silently smiled. I wanted to love, hug and nurture again. I didn't want to say "leave me alone" anymore. I was done feeling like I needed time to myself, and realized I needed time with my kids.
They are my joy. They are what drives me crazy and makes me happy. They are what makes me . . . ME! I am grateful that seeing this made me snap out of my funk. Blaise was home sick again today and after school all his friends came over to see how he was feeling, and they left with Caiden to all go play outside. I started cleaning up a little and realized I hadn't seen Blaise in awhile. So I went upstairs and found him looking out his window, watching everyone play.
Everything just hit me all at once. I have been so focused on "important" things that I started to let the kids irritate me because they were getting in the way of the "important" things. I was focused on the wrong "important" things. Sure PTA, and soccer, and dance, and church callings, and cleaning . . . never ending cleaning, and our business are all "important" things, but I was letting them consume me. I was getting upset with the kids because they wouldn't let me just focus on the other things. I had to start being two people at one time, and it wasn't working out too well. But with the kids home sick, I cancelled everything else I had going, and just focused on them . . . . the real important things. And life seemed to make sense again. I just needed a break. I just needed time to cuddle. Needed time to take care of them, and needed time to let them take care of me. I just needed time to see them looking out the window . . . .
4 comments:
For some reason my computer is not letting me view the picture, I'll have to keep trying. But your words are beautiful. I'm so glad you're out of your "funk". I know how important your kids are to you and that they are your everything. You were just feeling a bit overwhelmed, which is totally understandable. Hope you guys have a great family filled weekend.
PRICELESS PICTURE, BEAUTIFUL WORDS. WELCOME BACK. ENJOY THESE TIMES WHILE YOU CAN THE GOOD, THE BAD, AND THE ORDINARY, DAY TO DAY IN BETWEEN. BECAUSE BEFORE YOU KNOW IT, IN THE BLINK OF AN EYE, THOSE DAYS OF CUDDLES AND SNUGGLES AND OVER THE TOP "MOTHERING/NURTURING" WILL BE GONE, AND ALL YOU WILL HAVE ARE THE MEMORIES. TALK ABOUT FEELING LIKE YOU'RE IN A "FUNK". SURE OTHER THINGS WILL FILL YOUR LIFE AND BRING YOU JOY, BUT NOTHING LIKE THE JOY YOU CAN HAVE WHEN YOUR KIDS ARE THIS AGE. SO SOME TIME TOMORROW, HAVE A CUDDLE UP, SNUGGLE UP, HUGS AND KISSES, NURTURING SESSION WITH THE KIDS AND ENJOY. LOVE YOU ALL MUCH, HOPE EVERYONE FEELS BACK AT THE TOP OF THEIR GAME SOON. HUGS & KISSES TO BLAISE, FEEL BETTER SOON BUDDY!
I LOVE that picture, it gives you a warm fuzzy and breaks your heart all at the same time. I always thought that when the kids were in school that I would have more "me" time........yeah right! It just makes me miss them more, when they are gone and I stress about how I've screwed them up. I totally understand the time management thing. I think we are in a society where women are expected to be "super women" all the time and do it all, and we loose site of what is REALLY important when we do that. Thank goodness we all have these moments to bring us back down to what really matters.....the kids!
Loved this! That picture is perfect! I needed to read this and be reminded to take time to see my kids "looking out the window." Thank you for sharing this post.
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