Wanted
Wanted:
Married, White, Female is looking for a day off with an unlimited
budget for shopping. An afternoon lunch with a friend, and a
hot date with her hubby to end the day. Coming home to a clean
house after my glorious day is a must, with kids looking oh so cute and clean lined up to greet me with hugs and cuddles, then calmly marching off to bed with no fuss so I can take a hot bath.
I am also in need of a decision maker. Qualified applicants must be able to see the future of all given scenerios so that he/she can best assess what route to go. Of course, if the wrong decision is made, this applicant will promptly be fired and forever blamed for the path my life went down, so please, only serious applicants.
I am also filling the position for a body double. I need someone that looks great in a bathing suit so that I don't need to keep working out for what seems to be an impossible goal. The uniform is as follows, do not apply if you can not rock this suit!
The last position I am filling is the position of a referee. I need someone that can step into the middle of the kids fight, listen to it, stop it, and make it never happen again. This position will require a lot of overtime and no days off.
To apply for any of the above positions please contact me
in my dreams!!!
6 comments:
I love that swim suit, too cute! I am hereby officially applying for the position of body double just so I can wear it! And man would I look awesome...yeah right! I couldn't even type that with a straight face. I would need some major plastic surgery before being able to pull that one off. Mostly because I have the chest of a 12 year old boy.
Hollie,
we both look like little boys!!! What the hey!?! Why didn't we inherit big girl boobs? I too need the workings of a plastic surgeon. I am saving my pennies, oh yes, I am up to $3! WOO HOO!!! I should definetley reach my goal of having show boobs instead of my working boobs by this fall!!!
You are too hilarious! I would love to help you out, Heather, but unfortunately I don't qualify for any of those positions. Good luck in your search!
YOU CRACK ME UP!!! YOU ARE SO FUNNY. I LOVE YOU, FOR THE JOY YOU BRING TO MY LIFE WITH YOUR FUNNY, CRAZY, WIT. THANKS, I CAN ALWAYS COUNT ON YOU TO BRING A SMILE TO MY FACE.
I MIGHT BE ABLE TO HELP YOU WITH THE FIRST AD, AS SOON AS I CAN GET SOME TIME OFF, OH YEA, EXCEPT FOR THE UNLIMITED BUDGET FOR SHOPPING PART.
SECOND AD, I COULD FOR SURE HELP YOU WITH, BECAUSE WE ALL KNOW THAT MOTHERS GET BLAMED FOR EVERYTHING ANYWAY! :)
THIRD AND LAST AD, FOR A BODY DOUBLE, COME ON NOW, SERIOUSLY!
CAN'T HELP YOU OUT THERE!!!!!!
P.S. I'VE SEEN YOU IN A SWIM SUIT, YOU DON'T NEED A BODY DOUBLE!
You are so funny! I always look forward to your wit and humor...you don't need a body double you would look great in that suit! As for the other stuff I couldn't apply because I'm the world's worst organizer! Wish we lived closer, I could at least babysit!
How about you find me a nanny that can cook and clean for me right now!
WANTED-one smokin' hot, non-pregnant-whale of a body to actually fit into a suit like that this summer!
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